Football lessons on peace

"You must be the change you want to see in the world." -Mahatma Gandhi

Last night I learned a lesson in bringing more peace to the world from somewhere I never would have expected: a football game. I should say right off that I get the irony, but sometimes inspiration comes from unlikely places. I take it where I can get it.

I was watching the Michigan and Notre Dame football game, which turned out to be an incredibly exciting game. Even more than Michigan's dynamic comeback, what struck me was the way Michigan's new coach, Brady Hoke, talked to his players. He was very calm and respectful to them, even after a player had made a big mistake like throwing an interception that could have cost them the game. The coach didn't shout angrily like we are accustomed to seeing football coaches do. He was serious and meant business, but his body language and the words I could read from his lips made him come across with respect, like he was an ally and a teacher. More "Okay, here's what we need to do to fix this."

Without realizing it, I became infected by watching Brady Hoke's kindness, and it influenced me to be kinder today. This morning my five year old started throwing a fit in a public place for no apparent reason. My first instinct was to give him the stern, "this is inappropriate" talking to. I wasn't feeling angry, but I wanted to teach him the lesson and the stern approach was my first reaction. I think it is the way I've seen most parents respond in my life, so it is familiar - but certainly not the best or only way I could respond.

In the split seconds of deciding how to react, it occurred to me to take a kinder approach, and so that is what I did. I used the same words and taught the same lesson, but I did it calmly and with more kindness. In doing so I felt like more of an ally to my son than an authoritarian, and he responded well to it. On my more mindful days I try to take this approach to parenting, but I am not perfect, and I don't think it makes me a bad parent to be stern sometimes. My point is that watching Brady Hoke's kinder way of coaching had influenced me and reminded me, in those few seconds of deciding how to react, that kindness and calmness were on the menu. Brady Hoke actually crossed my mind.

So witnessing kindness influenced me to choose kindness, just like that. I wonder how many other people watching the game were also influenced that way. What if I infuse all of my interactions with more kindness, compassion, patience, joy, respect, and peace? It is a choice after all. By doing so, I will bring more of these qualities into my life and the lives of others. It will make every interaction better. It will inspire others to be kinder too, and kindness is a form of peace. And just like that, peace spreads. It is so simple, yet so powerful.

My efforts alone to be kinder may not solve all of the world's problems, but it will bring more light into the world. That is a start. It will make our world a kinder place, even if just a little bit, and that is a world I want to live in. A world I want my children to live in. The problems facing the world are daunting, and remembering that my simple everyday actions make a difference is empowering. Especially today.